archishellago | Test Drive Meme #003

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test drive meme

Test Drive Meme #003

KHU IODUAN; TEST DRIVE MEME #003

I. AROUND AIFARAN - Getting The Perfect Shot!

This month in Aifaran, there's a contest being held on the popular social site Xa Xa, which Earth-based Dreamfolk may recognize as vaguely Instagram-like -- it's all about the pretty pictures! With a top prize of 500 Rhinn per category, lots of people are getting into the game. Prizes will be handed out for awards like Best Composition, Most Creative Angle, Best Use of Lighting, etc, and this means that it won't be uncommon to see people in unusual places (even some risky ones) trying to score the perfect shot. Maybe they're bumping accidentally into you on the street, or slipping off the edge of a rooftop, or not paying attention to that train heading their way??

II. BE A GOOD NEIGHBOUR - Surprise Petsitting?!

Success! You've scored a quiet day, and you're just about to settle in for a marathon of your favourite Tears of the Ocean Heart episodes when there's a knock on your door. A very distracted looking Castian is standing there, talking away on his yimo, and beside him, a very fancy Inan on a glitzy harness and leash.

"Right, right," the Castian says to whomever he's talking to. "I'm just dropping Ruqhina off at the sitter, I'll be there in ten." Shoving the leash at you, he announces, "Thank you again for agreeing to watch my darling Ruqhina, I really appreciate it. Don't forget to exercise early in the day, she likes eating energy of active people only, I don't want her on a lazy person diet. Did you change your hair, I thought you had blue hair? Well nevermind, I have to get going, I'll be back in a week. Goodbye sweetheart, Daddy misses you already!" And then he's gone.

III. TALENT IS A MISNOMER - You Didn't Need That Wall Right?

There are a lot of Dreamfolk in the city, and all of them are dealing with their own newly gifted Talents in their own ways. Some, especially those who are used to extraordinary abilities from their own worlds, have some idea of how to train on them safely, learning the ins and outs of their new gift. And then you have some whose only exposure to "magic" is through stories, fairy tales, or really entertaining TV, and pointing a finger-gun at a target and saying "boom!" has never actually worked... until now.

"Uh," the other Dreamfolk says, staring dumbly at the car-sized hole in the wall, and then glances at you who just happened to be the closest person. "That's... new. Yikes. Should we run? Wait, I've got a better idea--" Cue loud voice and frantic pointing in your direction. "IT WAS THIS ONE! THEY DID IT!"

IV. SHADY BUSINESS - It's A Shakedown

You're in the right place at the right time (or the wrong ones, depending on your point of view) but you're entering a shop just in time to see some Beika punks accosting the shopkeeper, demanding protection money, which they owner is stammering that they've already paid this month. Upon your entrance, the shopkeeper looks over at you with help me plainly written on their face, while the Beika thugs look very unhappy at being interrupted...

V. BEACHFRONT CLEANUP - Oh That's Nasty...

It's not a pleasant task, but it does pay volunteers pretty well: following a massive storm, several dozen dead Giant Jellyfish corpses have washed up on the shoreline, and they need to be cleaned and disposed of before they start to decompose. It's dirty, smelly, and slimey work... but the promise of two weeks worth of rhinn for one day's work is hard to pass up! You're assigned to teams and given some shovels and a wheelbarrow, but as you reach the latest jellyfish body, you're surprised to see that this one appears to be covered in... burns?? Is this something you should report?

VI. WILDCARD - Because You're Not The Boss Of Me

Anything else that doesn't fit the above prompts is welcome, just keep it within the game setting please!

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IV

[ Wa-hoa! What was this? A shakedown? And just when he got here too. Wow, bandits are going to be bandits wherever they go, huh? Degenerate, bullying, baby-eating sons of bitches. He hated them. For a moment, he fantasized himself taking them all out and leaving the last one for him to play with personally, but with limited bullets and a lack of knowledge of the situation, it wouldn't be a good idea to have an itchy trigger finger right now.

Besides... why waste a perfectly good opportunity to network, huh?

Bandits are bandits, but they always have more influence than shop owners. They know the ins and outs of the city, and they usually have caches full of weapons and money. If he could get in good with them, he could have access to all that. It's despicable, but Jack needs that right now. Survival. He doesn't like floundering around like a dumbass fish out of water. He needs power. Resources.

Jack glances at the owner, then flashes an easy smile at the bandits. He raises his hands to show them he comes in peace. ]

I see what's going on here! This old fart -- [ wags finger ] -- this ingrate is on your naughty list, huh? After you've been so considerate in protecting him too. You know, some people are like that? They just don't think of other people? And that kinda pisses me off, actually. You know what, I'll do you guys a solid. I'll watch the door for you.

Edited 2018-04-11 04:53 (UTC)

[ Cade slides into the shop shortly after Jack, just in time to catch most of what Jack and the bandits had said. His stature plus the sword on his side gives the impression of someone from the military, but only initially; he then folds his arms and leans against the doorway lazily, disinterestedly. Whose side he’s on, he doesn’t give away yet. ]

They don’t look happy to see you, man.

[ Tough-looking guy. Handsome too. Jack doesn't know if he wants to kiss him or steal his jawline and stick it in his mask, but if there's anything he knew about guys with swords, it's that they're prrrobably be pretty good with it if they could stand kids asking them if they were in cosplay.

He's standing pretty close. Jack did not want to be on the other side of that. Deep breath. Whispers, pretty convincingly, ]

Oh, thank god, are you a cop? I got nervous there. Thought if I ran out, they'd chase me -- I did not want those guys following me around, lemme tell you. Are you gonna waste them now? Do some sword slashy things? Please, be my guest.

[ Cade raises an eyebrow, still slouched against the doorway. It’s not that he’s unconvinced by Jack’s story; it’s the part about letting him lay waste on the bandits. Tempting, especially after they’d harrassed the shopkeeper, but... ]

And what, spoil your fun?

[ He grins, gesturing towards the troublemakers. ]

You go right ahead. And no, I’m not a cop. Not here, anyway. So you don’t have to worry, I’m not gonna tell.

[ Pressured by a handsome guy while people look at you. Is this what High School feels like? Jack looks at the guy, then the bandits and the shop owner. Tsks. He pulls his gun out of its holster.

He could've gotten somewhere here too! So annoying. ]

Fine, but I'm telling you, I've got a finite amount of bullets here -- [ He glances at the bandits. Shoots two of them in the head with ease, then shoots the weapon out of the last guy's hand. He takes advantage of their confusion and breaks their neck with a quick twist. Ohhh, that crunch. Just what he needed. He takes whatever relevant things on their person like, ugh, like some filthy Vault Hunter, then turns around sharply to face this guy again. ] -- so if some real baddies come after me and I run out, that's gonna be your fault. That's right.

[ Huffs. Dusts self off. Might as well try to form something relevant here, maybe turn on the pressure with the shop owner when he leaves. Meets Cade's eyes and offers a handshake. ] Jack. Handsome Jack. I'm new and confused. I'm guessing you're old and confused?

[ Cade whistles admiringly; the way Jack’s made quick, efficient work of the bandits isn’t lost to him. This guy’s actually pretty good, and not just all talk. The blonde makes a mental note not to make an enemy out of him.

He pushes himself off the doorway finally, shutting the door behind him. Jack’s pilfering is painfully obvious - the shopkeeper’s clearly wincing at the sight - but Cade simply lets the other be. He’s not that noble. ]

Handsome Jack, huh? [ He shakes the other’s hand firmly. ] Cade. Not too new, and not too confused. How long have you been in the city?

[ There are rustling noises outside the door now. Must’ve wondered what’s taking their friends so long. ]

[ He shakes his hand back, just as firm. ] Few days. Like a little baby, I know.

[ Jack hears the rustling noises outside too. Ahh... crap. He groans like a petulant child, slumping his shoulders. ] Oh my gooood. There's more of them? Stupid, filthy little inbreds breed like... goddamn... cockroaches... Ugh, I just can't get a break today. You know how hard it is to get blood out of your clothes? [ Reloads gun. He's painfully aware of how many bullets he has left. ] Are you gonna help, or is that sword just there for decoration?

Edited 2018-04-11 10:05 (UTC)

[ Cade laughs now, amused at how childish this skilled fighter can seem. A clever ploy, yet he doesn’t begrudge Jack for it.

He’s actually reminded of someone from home - their crown prince, Heylel. The kid’s a spoiled brat and doesn’t seem to take anything seriously, but when push comes to shove, he’s one heck of a fighter. Just lazy, mostly. ]

Well, you said it’s my fault if more baddies show up. Why don’t you help the poor old man over there while I take care of the reinforcements?

[ He doesn’t even wait for Jack to agree or disagree. He just turns around and leaves. The door’s barely closed when there’s a sound of a sword being drawn, followed by other not-too-pleasant noises. Nope, not for decoration, Jack. ]

[ Oh, there we go! There's the pay off he's been waiting for! Jack beams and gives Cade a mock salute. ]

Right-o, I'll see everything's taken of back here. [ Points at Cade with both hands, then turns it into two thumbs up. ] You're the wind beneath my wings, kiddo.

[ As soon as he's out of view, Jack slides to the back of the counter and gives the owner a sly, serpentine grin. Bats eyelashes at him. ] Rough day, huh? You know, you're just lucky me and pretty boy showed up earlier. You didn't have their protection money... my god, what would've they done to you? To your family? That's gonna be so... awful to think about. [ He touches the old man's face, then traces a finger to his neck. He draws a threatening line at the middle. The old man swallows. ] A little token of appreciation is in order, don't you think? Something for dinner. And a little extra, for my clothes and all.

[ When the fighting's over, Jack has an apple in his hand and a bright grin in his face. He steps on one of the bodies on the ground as he walks over to Cade. ] Caaade. My man. You, me, dinner. My treat. What do you say?

Edited 2018-04-11 10:33 (UTC)

[ Cade avoids killing as much as possible, although he's not opposed to a good beating; apart from the code their army adheres to, it's just less messier that way. So when Jack joins him outside, the bandits are unconscious, but still very much alive.

He sheaths his sword, then turns to Jack. He's surprised at the offer, but doesn't refuse. It wouldn't hurt to make a new friend - or at least, not make an enemy. ] That's awfully generous of you. The old man gave you a token of appreciation, eh?

Mhm. Sweet guy, that one. Did you know he has two beautiful daughters he loves a lot?

[ He claps Cade on the back. ]

I'm a pretty friendly guy, Cade, and youuuu deserve it. We make a good team. Here's to the start of a beautiful friendship, hm?

[ ooc: might be good to fade out soon (~o.o)~ tysm! ]

You’re fantastic! So looking forward to having you in the game~ :D

estrangedheir - 2018-04-12 03:01 (UTC) - Expand

[Konoe wasn't exactly one to stick his tail into things other people were doing, but he'd been going around to see what these shops were like, since everything seemed different than in Ransen.

And what he didn't like, was bullies. He'd had enough of those people at home and the guy was just trying to make a living; and this strange looking outsider seemed to be trying to help them.

Konoe growled, his ears slicking back and pupils going straight to slits. Anyone who knew cat body language would know he was ready for a fight, especially with the sword at his hip.]

Hey, what do you think you're doing?!

[ Ohh, coming in hot and self-righteous. Jack hated those types. I'm on your side, idiot. If you had half of a goddamn brain, you'd be more savvy about taking down bad guys. Jack looked between angry cat boy and the thugs. Long-term, it would be more beneficial to please the organized bandits now than to sate this guy's hero boner. ]

Listen, Whiskers... [ He pulls his gun out of its holster, spinning it in his trigger finger ] ...How about you run along and let the adults handle their business, hmmm? It's really not worth it. Trust me on this.

[Konoe just stopped somewhere between confused and offended-first of all, that wasn't his name!! And second of all, what the hell was that metal thing he was spinning around on his finger?? It looked dangerous. That just made Konoe draw his sword, though he was pretty sure it wasn't going to help him in the end.]

I don't care if you guys are having your own territorial squabbles, but don't involve innocent people in it.

Whaaat? Involving innocent people? Wh -- I'd never hurt anyone, me? Moi? [ He gestures to himself, an outraged look in his face. ] I'm not hurting people. I'm just watching a door.

But if it's not me, then... [ He turns to one of the thugs, wagging his finger at him. The thug looks begrudgingly amused. ] Are you hurting people?

[ "No," the thug says. Jack waves his finger at the other guys, who then say similar responses. He shrugs. ]

See? This is all just a legitimate business transaction, with legitimate businessmen. I don't know where that dangerous outlook's coming from. Maybe it's from you. Have you been hurt before, Whiskers? You know, it doesn't really help to have a cynical world view. If you keep viewing the world as bad, it's gonna be bad to you. You need to develop more positive thinking to get anywhere.

Edited 2018-04-12 02:22 (UTC)

Don't be stupid, I could sense your killing intent from a mile away.

[His empathy was not a help most of the time, but it did let him know who was angry and ready to fight, and those thugs at least, absolutely were. Besides, he could feel how terrified the shopkeeper was, even if Konoe ignored the lances of pain through his chest.]

I know bandits when I see them!!

[And with that statement, Konoe sprang forward, his sword swinging for the man's torso. He was surprisingly fast and agile for his speed, as all cats were.]

[ Jack pulled back reflexively, but the cat boy's sword collided with his shields. It made a painful clanging sound on the force field's surface and depleted it a good amount. ]

You bitch! Alright, that's it! I'm having cat for dinner! [ His cloaking device slithered down from his head to his feet, concealing his location, and sprung four holographic doppelgangers, each noisy and taunting to be disorienting. The real Jack backtracked to the back, still invisible, and started shooting his gun's entire clip at Konoe's direction. Stupid! He was trying to save bullets here! ]

[Konoe's eyes went wide when he realized what was happening, his ears flicking back and forth when the man disappeared and suddenly cloned himself. Crap-is he a magician? I messed up.

His eyes were darting back and forth between the strange clones, but oddly enough he couldn't sense any emotions from them. It was only when he almost stumbled from the feeling behind him that he realized where his opponent had gone.

Konoe was already moving when the first bullets shot out, but a few of them still gouged his skin out as he bolted. The sudden noise and flying bits of metal terrified the cat, driving him to the nearest shelter he could dive behind, curling up into a tiny ball and trying not to try and bleed everywhere.]

[ Jack stops the barrage when the guy bolted to a corner, probably to do something about those awful wounds he just gave him. Jack spins the handle of his gun in his hand and slides it back into its holster, the doppelgangers disappearing at the exact same moment. Jack's body trembles with excitement, voice dropping to a whisper, ]

Ohhhh. Not so tough now, are you, kitten? Well... [ He straightens up and flashes a grin at the thugs ] The name's Handsome Jack, boys. Remember it when you go back to your bosses.

[ He stalks towards where Konoe is, fingers itchy ]

Edited 2018-04-13 00:07 (UTC)

[Konoe had dived behind some sort of trash bin, and he was pretty sure if he started running, the crazy man would just shoot bits of metal at him instead. Konoe just tried to lick his wounds the best he could-literally, cats did that-and his ears were on full alert as he heard footsteps come towards him.]

I've never seen a weapon like that in my entire life. Are you some kind of sorcerer??

I'm worse.

[ Jack kicks the trash bin away and makes a grab for the pretty boy's neck. ]

[ ooc: fade to black /o/ ]

[Maybe the bandits listen. Maybe they put up a bit of an argument, a fight, before conceding. Regardless, when Jack steps outside of the shop to do his duty and watch the door, he'll discover that he has an audience.

The Fool has a peculiar habit of simply seeming to appear places, almost as though he has always been there in the periphery of one's vision, waiting to be seen. And right now, he is standing on the opposite side of the street from Jack, a brightly coloured umbrella held over himself to shield him from the rain. His expression is peculiarly inscrutable, as though he is deliberating to himself over how best to respond to what he's seeing.

He waits a moment for an Erol'an rickshaw driver to pedal past, then takes a light step forward, intending to cross the street.]

You might have put a stop to that, rather than encourage them. [He stops a considerable distance away from Jack; slight of frame and hardly suited to rough-housing, the Fool knows his limits. Then again, he is also a Fool, or at least foolhardy. Approaching Jack at all is probably evidence enough of that.]

[ The bandits do give him a chance. They were suspicious at first, but Jack knows how to talk their language. Jack didn't like it, but haggling with the mouthbreathers of Pandora was good for something, even if it was just more mayhem. He's slumping against the door, thinking of all the creative ways he could've tortured the bandits inside before he's approached by this twitchy looking motherfucker. He gives him a flat look. ]

...What are you supposed to be? The ghost of Mercenary Day's past, here to tell me I'm gonna die alone in my pile of hot girls and money?

[ He stands up straight as The Fool comes closer, ready for a scuffle. ]

Shop's closed, dumbdumb. Move along.

[As Jack straightens to his full height, the Fool doesn't come any closer to him. On the contrary, he gives the strange man a wide berth, his slender arms folded across his chest. (He doesn't look like he's the type to scuffle anyway.) At that question, however, the beginnings of a sly smile curve up the corners of his mouth. It's not a particularly friendly expression, but one couldn't call it threatening, either.]

What if I was a ghost? [He lifts a slim finger and taps it against his chin.] What if I could tell you that yes, you will die alone? What comfort would your women and money bring you then?

[He's bluffing. Probably. Don't worry about it.]

[ Wise guy, eh? Back in the day, Jack just shot cryptic assholes in the head. Is there anything more annoying than stupid introspective bullshit? He didn't think so.

Jack knows exactly how he dies, and it's not pretty. It didn't make him remorseful or want to reconsider his bad actions blah blah blah. It made him angry. ]

Don't try and Armchair Psychology me, wispy, 'cause it's not gonna work. But since you're so persistent, I'll let you in on a little secret -- I'm smarter than those guys in there, and I'm smarter than you, and if you're smart... you know that the bigger your goals are, the more you have to risk. It's one old man for now. And it's gonna be a few more people eventually, I dunno. But if I get in their ranks, slip my fingers under their seats of power... ohhh, those bandits, their little empire, it's aaaall gonna go down in flames.

I'm not some filthy lowlife. I'm a goddamn hero. I know what I'm doing, so get out of the damn way.

Edited 2018-04-13 03:40 (UTC)

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Test Drive Meme #003

Handsome Jack | Borderlands

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You’re fantastic! So looking forward to having you in the game~ :D

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im fucking dying already

:DDD

im almost sorry for him

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